The hot dog imbalance — eight buns in a bag to 10 dogs in a pack — is an oft-spoken-of Americana annoyance, but it’s not the only bread-to-meat ratio that just doesn’t make sense. We’re talking, of course, about Wendy’s square hamburgers served on a round roll. Classic IndieWire stuff.

Wendy’s and Paramount are hammering out a deal to launch a new menu item at participating Wendy’s restaurants: the Krabby Patty. Yes, the sandwich of preference from the “SpongeBob Squarepants” cartoons is coming above sea level, a source confirmed to IndieWire. And you thought saucey nuggs would be the breakout Wendy’s menu item of 2024.

In the world of the Nickelodeon sea-sponge, the Krusty Krab is essentially the Wendy’s of the sea. It is also the employer of SpongeBob and Squidward. The Krab’s signature sandwich, the Krabby Patty, is about to wash ashore at your local Wendy’s as part of a value meal that will also include a Pineapple Under the Sea Frosty and medium fries.

Not that the chain is ready to make any such announcements.

When reached by IndieWire via email, a Wendy’s spokesperson responded: “Thanks for reaching out! While we can’t confirm what’s coming down Wendy’s innovation pipeline, we can share that we’re always looking to bring fans new menu items inspired by our fans’ cravings. We will be sure to keep you in the loop when we have more news to share.”

If we could speak for Wendy’s, which we cannot, our statement would probably go like this: Hey, it makes more sense than a Chick-fil-a streaming service.

The Krabby Patty will come out the other end of the Wendy’s innovation pipeline on October 8, according to a photo of a purported Wendy’s internal memo posted to Reddit. The limited-time-only engagement (also limited to participating locations in the U.S., Canada, and Guam) will end on November 11.

A spokesperson for Nickelodeon, SpongeBob’s specific home among Paramount Global’s many brands, declined comment on this story.

“SpongeBob Squarepants” is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year. The cartoon has already birthed a trio of theatrical films, “The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie” (2004), “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water” (2015), and the COVID-buried “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run (2020).” There was also “SpongeBob” spinoff “Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie,” which went straight to Netflix earlier this month and was number 1 for two straight weeks.

A fourth theatrical film, “The SpongeBob Movie: Search for Squarepants,” is set to open in theaters on December 19, 2025. That one, directed by Derek Drymon, will see SpongeBob traveling to the depths of the ocean to face off against the ghost of the Flying Dutchman.

In the “SpongeBob” universe, the Krabby Patty is a meatless hamburger (insert your own “Where’s the Beef?” joke here) made out of seaweed buns, deep-sea produce, and a patty of mysterious makings. It was created by Plankton and the big boss man, Mr. Krabs. The Wendy’s Krabby Patty will be a “premium cheeseburger” with “fresh produce and a secret Krabby Patty sauce,” the memo says. The Pineapple Under the Sea Frosty is a vanilla frosty with Pineapple Mango purée.

That all sounds good (aside from the Pineapple Mango purée) — there’s just one problem. Wendy’s Fresh, Never Frozen Beef ™ is a quadrangle, and has been since Dave Thomas launched the very first restaurant in 1969. The fictional Krusty Krab’s Krabby Patty is circular — you know, like a normal burger, meatless or otherwise. (Square pants, yes, but not square patties.) So either Wendy’s will have to cut the corners, or customers will have to suspend some of their geometric beliefs. Our source did not know the answer to this conundrum, but it seems unlikely that Wendy’s will break 55 years of tradition for 35 days of burger synergy.

AUSTIN, TEXAS - JUNE 18: In this photo illustration, a Wendy's meal is displayed on a table at a Wendy's restaurant on June 18, 2024 in Austin, Texas. Many fast food restaurants are in the midst of a budget-meal war, offering promotions to lure customers back despite inflation and wage increases.  (Photo by Brandon Bell/Getty Images)
A Wendy’s meal at a Texas locationGetty Images

Just why the hell are Wendy’s hamburgers square to begin with? Per corporate, Wendy’s burgers “hang over the bun so our customers can see the quality beef before even taking that first bite.”

One of the leaders of said corporation shared a more practical reason in 2022.

“We can fit more square hamburgers on a single grill than round ones,” John Li, vice president of culinary innovation at the Wendy’s Company, told CNN Business in 2022.

Here at IndieWire, we’re fans of the pragmatism, but not the result. Burgers are round, John — where have you been living, in a pineapple under the sea?

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